Broken Water Heater, Broken Dreams

In the last 6 months the innards in both my toilets died, then the toilet valve developed a leak, my washing machine stopped working, and a breaker blew, rendering my kitchen useless (including the fridge), but the water heater, the 10-year old water heater with the 10 year warranty, did me in. Not only was it plumbing, it was gas--gas that could kill me and quite possibly my neighbors. 

The toilets I could fix, the leak got handled (albeit the pipe is a bit shorter because I bent it in the attempt and I needed a neighbor's help), my friend's husband fixed the breaker because that too could kill me (but I could do it now if I had to), I fixed my washing machine with a $30.00 part (and the internet), but the water heater was the end of the world. Well, the end of my ultimate dream life world where after I get my gypsy on, I build my own off-grid home.

Like the washing machine, the cyber DIYers and experts said the usual culprit was a cheap part--a $10.00 thermocouple (whatever that was). 

I contemplated, while I heated water to take baths and do dishes, on whether or not I was up for the task. While I waited for the money to replace the whole thing, which the cyber experts said would run me about $900.00 installed, I lamented about how hard the solo life can be.

I've checked the "divorced" box for 28 years now (WOW, time flies).  I didn't set out to be solo this long (I've sampled a lot of merchandise) it's just that I haven't met that guy yet, I guess. Most of the time I don't mind being solo, but sometimes it is very hard. It means that you have to do it all--ALL!  The breadwinner, the financier, the cook, the cleaner, the mechanic, the plumber, the electrician and always the solo problem solver. There is no one to cover your weaknesses (finance, plumber, heavy lifting--I can do light electric without too much stress).

Sure, I know women who have husbands who are perfectly capable and yet leave the water to the sink turned off for months because they just don't get around to fixing it, but at least there is someone else to blame for the sink not working.  When my sink doesn't work, it's my fault. Plus, when you are solo there is also no one to defend you when some jerk male neighbor calls you a bad name (which happened just last week). It was one of those rare moments where I just dug down deep into that hole of despair. 

I sat frozen for 3 days. I mean I really just kind of sat on my couch watching horrible TV doing nothing else. If I couldn't fix the water heater, then I certainly wasn't really up to the task of fixing up a trailer and taking it on the road.  If I couldn't fix the water heater how was I supposed to build an off grid home one day? My whole future was bleak and I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life, because I'm not that great of a carpenter either--you see where this was going--just spiraling down.  

I didn't want to spend $900 on a water heater--I wanted to buy a plane ticket to see my brothers, but there I sat doing nothing, until one of my brother's called asking if I had taken a shower yet (meaning did I fix my water heater--he assured me that I could replace it on my own--less than $900 but still sucking away at the ticket).  He was calling to tell me that an airline had $100. round trip fare, but then reminded me I couldn't buy a ticket until the water heater was fixed, which was exactly the motivation I needed.  

So I looked one more time at the site I bookmarked with the water heater cyber gurus, got off my butt and went to Home Depot to get that thermocouple--I kind of understood what purposed it served now--and I also bought a CO2 monitor just in case I failed and didn't know it. I was trying to beat the clock to get the great airline deal.

I had to remove the kick plate from the cabinet that housed the water heater to get the burner assembly out (but I had a handy dandy tool for that).  I cleaned it up and when I went to replace the thermocouple I realized that the one the water came with was different from the universal part I just bought.  Back to the Internet I went. Mine had a safety device (a little button) and the replacement had to be ordered online, but the cyber pros said the one I purchased would work.  It was too late for the cheap airfare, and I wasn't sure I wanted to take a chance on the universal replacement based on a couple recent news stories about gas explosions, so I slept on it. In the middle of the night I woke up to the alarm of the CO2 monitor.  Turned out it was just a dream (nightmare?). 

I decided in the morning that before I ordered the exact replacement part I would make sure it was the actual problem and use the "universal" part as a test.  I got it all back together checked everything twice, held my breath and tried to light the pilot.  Nothing!  I walked away, waited the 5 minutes the instructions said (actually waited 15 because I didn't want my fantasy of success to end in 5 minutes) and tried it again. Nothing. This time I didn't wait and I just kept pushing that button and voila!  It lit!  I held my finger on the button for a full minute (because the thermocouple needs heat to operate; if there is no heat from the pilot, it shuts off the gas so there is no explosion). When the minute was up I let the button go.  The pilot stayed lit!!!!!!  When I turned the thermostat to medium, the burner lit and I felt like a rock star! I checked on it throughout the day and it was working just fine--still is.  I also checked the CO2 monitor several times that day to make sure it was working. 

Now that I fixed it for 13 dollars and some change, I think how ridiculous it would have been to pay someone 300 plus dollars to fix it, or even worse, replace it altogether. Now I am ready to tackle the fridge when the time comes and realized that the thermocouple may be the reason my furnace stopped working--its the same part.  

What's more, is that I am confident I can pull off my dream of being a Solo Bohobo and possibly building my own off grid home someday (ideally with a man). 

I didn't get the $100 plane ticket, but got one for only $36 more through Spirit Air--I'll let you know how that goes--its bare bones flying, but how bad can it be?   

Born to be a Nomad

This blog is a "play project".  The "play project" is an exercise from the book "Be a Free Range Human: Escape the 9-5, Create a Life You Love, and Still Pay the Bills". The play project, in a nutshell, is to test out something that you might want to do, but with the idea of jumping in and then paying attention to what says yes, and what says no--it is designed to remove the pressure--at least that is how I understand it. It's supposed to take 3 days to develop the project, but it has taken me two weeks to come up with something that rang true for me.

I chose a blog as a play project because it is an element of a big dream of mine to become a full-time nomad, traveling solo in an RV to experience the wonders of nature in the US and sharing that experience (the good, bad and embarrassing) with people through a blog.

Hobo Desires
I have wanted to be a hobo since I was a child.  The idea of wandering drew me in and I really don't know how I learned about hobos, I just knew I wanted to be one.  I must have also known that it wasn't an acceptable career because I didn't assert to people that is what I wanted.  I don't remember asserting that I wanted to "be" anything when I grew up until 5th grade, but wanting to be a hobo is the first, and only, desire I remember before then.  

The dream has morphed.  It began with making believe I was a traveler on the railroad tracks behind my apartment building with my little pink suitcase. It resurfaced in high school as touring the US with my best friend in a VW bus, working along the way to pay for gas, food and fun; but again, there were no classes on how to embark on a dream like that--only classes on getting a job--so I joined the Navy instead.  At thirty I sold a woman a Jeep to tow behind her Class A motorhome as she hit the road solo and I vowed I would do that. Well, I didn't intend to be solo, but I knew I would retire early and travel in an RV (not retiring).  I admired her even though she was kind of bitchy (but I'm probably perceived that way too sometimes--not probably--for sure I am), and she is one of a handful of strangers that pop up in my mind when I need to draw on some outer strength. She was probably the same age I am now.

Colorado River in Utah

Over a number of years and series of events (including contemplating the meaning of life while staring at a towering red canyon wall on the Colorado River during a 4-day rafting trip, and a stint of wanting to walk the entire PCT -- pre Wild publication) I ended up here--within a year of being a full-time RVer (fingers crossed).

I believe I was born to be a nomad; and perhaps a writer.  

I am already a writer--a technical writer, but a writer. I have hundreds of published articles of my own, well, about 40 articles, but published in hundreds of outlets--trade outlets.  However, when I sit down to write anything "fun" (blog, screenplay, book, travel article) I find any and every reason to get away from this computer.  It takes so much effort to write.  I am editing before I get two words on the page, so nothing ever gets finished.  If I didn't write for a living, I would be classified as a thinker not a writer.  I have GREAT ideas!

But then there is that thing of "fun" writing being stressful.  I think I know why.  Number one is that I haven't developed my "fun" voice.  It is buried beneath corporate learning, journalistic writing and years of absorbed advice on how to act or not to act and what not to say and what to say.  I think if I can break past those barriers, it will become fun again--like it used to be.  It used to be an outlet.

The critic is even louder than the corporate voice.  The critic says, "you can't.  You can't be honest on a blog because that will make you vulnerable; and, what are you an expert at anyway?"  It also says, "if you say too much, that could make it hard to transition back into the 'real world' if all of this doesn't work out; and, you are not eloquent."

Sprinkled among the series of events that has led me to this particular place is an ever present message from the Universe to be authentic--to own who I am, warts and all, including non-eloquence. I've heard a number of people attribute their success to being true to themselves, and I've seen proof that being true to yourself works.  I am legitimately in awe when people own their "less than pretty" qualities. Sometimes when my daughter speaks (or writes), I gasp aloud--not because what she says is wrong, but because I can't believe she just admitted that aloud to a general audience (whether it is family or her readers).  But, the world does not collapse when she does.

A friend from college just started a blog, Boomer Takes On Brooklyn. We spoke about it over the phone a few times and then she just jumped in. She has already has two posts!!! and I am still editing this one--two weeks later--WTF?  I think she is an eloquent writer--she made Brooklyn sound like Main Street USA.  My daughter is a wordsmith and a poet.  She finds the most beautifully colorful ways to describe something. She's honest, funny, racy and still honing her talent at USC.

I know that I have something to offer.  In small, safe, groups I have no problem telling you about the heinous mistakes I've made in life or fears that can paralyze me for days, or the brave things I've done like driving a 25 foot rental truck from Colorado to Wisconsin towing a car behind it,  just so you have the courage to face your demons and push yourself to take risks.  Maybe I should mention that I had never been to Wisconsin, didn't have a job or a place to live, and that isn't one of the heinous mistakes I've made.  But revealing my authentic self to the World Wide Web (especially with Internet trolls), that's scary.

This blog will be about adventures of finding the right trailer and making it my own (did I mention I'm a DIYer?), the good and bad parts of doing it solo, the places I have been and will go and people I meet.  In writing about these life adventures, I will attempt to let my inner freak fly and reveal my authentic self; so bear with me as get comfortable with my authentic self through chasing my dreams.